A few weeks ago, I reached out to Dawn Tasaka Steffler to thank her for her stories about parenting a transgender child. After a little back-and-forth, she recommended Nico Lang‘s American Teenager: How Trans Kids Are Surviving Hate and Finding Joy in a Turbulent Era. And now I have another thing to thank her for.
Lang’s book is a ray of sunshine in a dark time. They follow eight transgender teenagers in different parts of the United States: from Alabama to Florida to California to Illinois, Lang’s subjects are all profiles in courage and tenacity. The kids are at different stages of transition, in different cultural, financial and legislative situations. Some are worried that their parents will be prosecuted for “aiding and abetting” their identity. Others are simply tired of being treated like political symbols when they just want to live their lives as teenagers.
One of the most effective ways to challenge ignorance is to create familiarity, to get to know someone different than you, if not in person, then on the page. Lang’s profiles succeed because they focus on the kids as whole, specific, sometimes contradictory people, and not as narrative or rhetorical devices. Each section pulls the reader inside a life: school, friendships, medical appointments, online communities, family dinners. The mundane and the extraordinary, the familiar and the unexpected. One teenager is a devout Christian, one is a Muslim. One is just tired of being expected to be an advocate and activist.
What’s common across all these stories is exactly what I see in my own teenager: when a child feels safe, welcomed, and appreciated, they flourish. It isn’t complicated, but somehow, at this moment in history, it feels radical.
At different moments, American Teenager is relatable, heartbreaking, and deeply inspiring. So many of the parents Lang speaks with reflect of my own experience. They aren’t perfect, they’re just doing their best to support their kids. They’re often uncertain or overwhelmed, but always trying to meet their children where they are. Their fear and hope, their fierce protective instincts, their frustration with both their own mistakes and the judgement of the outside world — all of these rang true to my own experience. I teared up a lot reading this book.
I’m so lucky to live in Canada. American Teenager brings sharp focus to how terrifying it must feel for trans kids and their families in the U.S., especially in states where dignity and safety are still in question. And still, American Teenager doesn’t wallow in fear. It’s hopeful, and often even joyful.
This is an uplifting, necessary book. Nico Lang reminds us that trans kids aren’t an abstraction or a hypothetical. They’re just kids, funny, curious, exhausted, and hopeful. They’re more than capable of telling us exactly who they are, and the more we listen, believe them and believe in them, the richer all of our lives can be.
American Teenager is essential reading.
Further Reading
Chicago Review of Books Interview
Alabama TV News interview with Nico Lang:
